Life Lessons

My Journey to Finding Happiness

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What a journey it’s been! I have a wife that loves me and we’re best friends. We have two dogs. I have a family and some lifelong friends. I started my own company and it’s finally starting to thrive. There is a lot that I’m very grateful for.

However, I’ve also experienced a lot of loss and heartache in my life already. I’ve been divorced. My dad passed away from a heart attack very young, recently I lost my last grandparent, and my wife and I have lost 5 babies from miscarriages.

I guess I’ve learned that you can’t really experience the highs unless you know what the lows feel like. The strange thing I’ve found though is that neither the highs or lows last for very long. They are fleeting moments. They are a memory, sometimes.

This story is about my personal journey to discovery something that changed my life. Something that has filled me up with a sense of love and purpose that I’ve never experienced before.

My hope in writing this is not to try and convince anyone of anything. It’s simply me sharing something that has impacted me so deeply and has brought me an incredible sense of peace and joy that I hope others get to experience it too. Because it’s awesome!

 

When I was young, my parents got divorced. My dad no longer lived with us but would come in town on weekends. He would take my brother and I to church or he would try and have our own Bible study at home. I did not really understand much other than it was something that was supposed to be important. I guess because my Dad thought it was important, I did too.

As I grew up a little more, I came to think of God more of a measurement of right and wrong or being a ‘good person’. I don’t remember my church or anyone around me talking about Jesus very much. It was just God the almighty it seemed.

In high school, baseball and partying were my priorities. In college, I transitioned my energy to starting a career and being successful at business but partying was still a top priority. My faith was not something I even thought about really. I guess I felt like God would always be there if I ever needed him kind of thing.

I was very career focused and after being part of a startup, I got recruited into a healthcare tech company where I grew up so to say in my profession and became passionate about technology and business. While at this company, I completed my MBA and got married. Things were going really well until they weren’t. And then things fell a part quickly.

My ex-wife and I did not have any foundation to fall back on in terms of our faith so when things got hard in our relationship, we fell a part. It was devastating and humiliating for me. Ever since I was kid, I always vowed that divorce would never happen to me. I would not let it happen. But it did. And it impacts every area of your life. What I thought was real, wasn’t. I thought I could control my life but I couldn’t. This experience cut deep and through it, I learned what it feels like to be alone. It created a spark inside me though to discover something more meaningful than what I thought was my world.

Through the experience of my divorce, it was motivation for me to start my own company. I was now at a point where I didn’t need to support anyone except for my dog, and I’d figure out a way to feed my dog! So I went for it but slowly at first. It would take some time before I left my full-time job and went all in and moved to Atlanta by myself to join my partners to try and grow our company. I remember my first night in my one bedroom apartment. I had just driven a moving truck up from Jacksonville where I rented out my house. I remember looking around by myself thinking, what in the hell am I doing? At the time I was dating my now wife and did not know if she would be willing to move to Atlanta. I literally gave away, sold, and packed up everything else I owned into a truck and moved to a city that I barely knew anyone to start a company that I had no idea if it would be successful.

I remember making a trip back home to Titusville, Fl where my mom, brother, and nieces live and was out seeing a good buddy. We were out at a bar catching up and a friend of his joined us. Somehow the conversation turned to religion and he declared that he was an atheist. So I asked, why? It just seemed odd to believe in nothing. That we as people are just matter with no soul or sense of higher purpose. He looked at me with this sarcastic grin and asked me, ‘so, do you really believe Noah built an arch?’ .

I found myself in this position where I was not able to intelligently articulate why I believed what I believe. I had always just believed at a high-level that there was a God and that I would go to heaven after I die. This conversation put a chip on my shoulder and it pissed me off. Not at the guy that asked me the sarcastic question, but more around the fact that I wanted to find out the truth for myself. I wanted to dig in and discover what was really true. Not because someone thought I should believe in something but because I wanted to decide for myself if I truly believed in God and in the Bible or not.

During this time of me starting to search for what I believed, I got engaged and married to my wife in Atlanta. I felt a strong desire to bring faith into our relationship so we started attending Buckhead Church together. During one service, there was an open invite made for anyone to check out a program they offer called, Starting Point. It was pitched that this was for anyone with questions and since I had a lot of them, I thought it was perfect.

My wife joined me at Starting Point, which is a small group of around 10 people who commit to meet for 8 weeks where we would discuss and learn about what it means to follow Jesus and give us opportunities to ask real and tough questions without being polite.

So I came with my questions and I wanted answers. The funny thing was, when I started asking honest and genuine questions about my faith, other people started opening up too. We started having these really authentic conversations that I never had before about life and faith and I was really attracted to it. After the program ended, I felt like I wanted to so something more but didn’t know what.

A few months later, a good buddy of mine was visiting me and we were picking up a few things at the grocery store. My wife doesn’t like going to the store with me because I talk to all the people that work there. She likes to be in and out but I like to get to know the people. Many of the employees know me by name. I even had employees at Publix texting me to wish me Happy Thanksgiving!

Well on this visit with my buddy in town, the same thing happened and many of the people that worked there saw me and wanted to chat. As my buddy and I were leaving, I’ll never forget what he said to me when he stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said ‘John, the day you use your talent for the Lord, it will be an amazing day.’

Then and there it hit me. I have this talent to connect with people. To make others feel welcome and relate to people. I wasn’t using the talent that God gave me for His purpose. I was merely sitting on the bench when I could be using my abilities in the game! I decided that I was going to combine three things I was passionate about which were entrepreneurship, technology, and my faith and would start a Bible study group, similar to what I experienced with the Starting Point group at Buckhead Church. My company had an office located in the Atlanta Tech Village where there were already plenty of tech entrepreneurs, so I decided that I’d bring the faith component and start a group there.

I knew one other person who was a believer in Christ at the Tech Village and I told him about my plan and asked if he’d be willing to join me. He said, sure! But, he suggested we talk to this guy from an organization called High Tech Ministries. I knew nothing about this organization, nor had I ever heard of this guy before. When we all connected, I told him about my plan to start a group at the Tech Village and he said that’s great because there were two other people that recently came to him and wanted to start a group at the Tech Village as well.

In January of 2017 we all met to discuss a plan to start a new Grace@Work group, which was what they were called as a part of High Tech Ministries. That February we hosted our first study meeting. I didn’t know what to expect. I was blown away when about 50 people showed up!

The study took off and so did my faith journey. I was learning so much and here I was leading this group that I felt I had no business leading, given my lack of knowledge about the Bible. But God used my heart to reach people in ways I did not know were possible. God used the talents he gave me to connect and relate to people in a way that was authentic and genuine. It was amazing! There were weeks when I felt a tingling on the back of my neck, as I’d be speaking. I swear it felt like God was speaking through me some days.

The group was going strong and my faith was growing as my knowledge about the Bible grew and being around others who shared experiences about their faith, which strengthened my own. That Spring, the co-leader of our Grace@Work group invited me to something called, Walk to Emmaus. This was right around the time of my dad’s funeral so I pushed it off. Basically, I was told that he couldn’t tell me anything about it but it would be the best experience of my life. However, I won’t have my phone and I wouldn’t know where I was going. Needless to say that my wife was not exactly thrilled about me leaving on a Thursday and coming back on Sunday with having no way to get in touch with me and not knowing where I was going.

That Fall I agreed to go. It was the first weekend in November. I remember on that Saturday, praying. I was praying harder than I had ever prayed before. I had tears coming down my face. I was making the decision to truly give my life to Jesus. I mean really doing it. Down in your soul doing it. Giving up control and taking all of these doubts and questions and giving them to Him and fully putting my faith in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. That day I laid down my life for Christ and His Holy Spirit filled me up to where the love overflowed. I have never felt so much joy and peace like that. It was the best feeling I had ever experienced and I’m so grateful for it. Love overflowed in my heart and it made me want to just love others. I experienced what it felt like to have a relationship with Jesus. To know that I was known by Him. This is what I had been missing. A love greater than any love I had ever felt. It changed my life.

I realized that all my life I had been searching for something to bring me happiness. Something that would give my life purpose and fulfillment. I looked for it everywhere. I looked for it in alcohol, sex, and in business achievements. For me, with running my own company, it was really easy for my business to become my identity. The problem was, when the company was not doing well, it meant I wasn’t doing well.

As an entrepreneur, you are always trying to hit that next milestone or round of funding. You notice how others seem to have success with the latest press releases. You sacrifice everything to build something and be successful. The only thing is when you finally get there, to whatever goal you’ve been working so hard for, it feels great for a moment but it doesn’t last very long. The next day when you wake up, you realize you’re still the same person. Now you have to go after the next milestone. It’s an ongoing cycle and it never stops. The sense of fulfillment you achieve doesn’t last but for a moment until you’re looking at the next goal that you think if you achieve, you will feel happiness.

I’ve now learned that all these worldly things can’t fill the God size whole you have in your heart. The only thing that can truly give you fulfillment, peace, and happiness is a relationship with Jesus Christ. I now know that because I experienced it for myself. I now know that I am loved beyond anything I can imagine and have a purpose greater than any one company or whatever I’m focused on. Regardless of what happens in my business, I know that it does not define who I am as a person because I have a greater purpose. This has meant I don’t have to constantly be searching for something to fill me up. I already have it. I found my happiness.

Now don’t get me wrong, I work harder than most and extremely committed and want to win. I just know that it’s ultimately in God’s hands so now in addition to working very hard, I pray. I pray for God to bless my business and my family. I ask him what he wants for my life. I ask how I can serve him and bring him glory and pray that he would work through me to reach many with his love. That many others would get to experience what I have experienced.

My hope is that you get to experience this love that I have. My hope is that no matter who you are or what you have done in the past, or what you believe or do not believe, that you would just take one step towards Jesus by asking him to come into your life. Ask Jesus what he wants for your life and ask him to be with you. Ask him to help you. It takes just making that one step towards him and see what happens with the next. It changed my life and I know it can change yours.

 

 

Advice to a Career Focused College Student

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I was asked recently by a senior in college, what is the best piece of advice I could share as he finishes his final year?

My response was to use the ‘feedback tactic’ to his advantage while he still can. 

I shared that he was in a unique spot where he could reach out to just about any senior leader in any company and simply ask for their feedback, as a college student who is interested in learning from them and interested in making a career decision. 

Most leaders like to help and also like to share their lessons learned of their career to someone they believe is truly interested. It’s amazing who you can connect with through a humble outreach and an ask for a coffee or short phone call. (plus, to be honest, people like to talk about themselves)

I told him this is a great way to build his network of business leaders, potentially get introduced to someone to land a job, and genuinely learn from very smart and successful people.  I suggested to make a list of the most interesting companies he could think of and start going through Linkedin to look up their CEO’s or other company leaders in his area of interest and then simply reach out to them for feedback.

He later emailed me and said this was the most practical piece of advice anyone has given him as a college senior, so I hope it can help others as well. 

Last Letter to my Dad

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I recently lost my father. It was a complete shock to me. He was 69 years young.

I’ve been sharing with those that I know to tell the people they care about, that they love them every chance they get. Here is my last letter to my Dad that I plan to read at his memorial service this weekend.

Pop,

I know you always enjoyed my writing, which is why I wanted to send you this last letter even though you have now moved on from this life. I mentioned to you in the past that you were an excellent writer and I admired and respected you for that. I wish you had started a blog about your own journey and lessons learned in life that I could now look back on.

Where should I start? I never thought you passing would happen like this without me being able to talk to you or say goodbye. You were so young at age 69 to go. I’m so sorry we did not talk more over the last couple years. I mistakenly thought we could always talk later and I am now wrong. I’m telling all my friends to make sure to tell the people that they care about, that they love them every chance they get. Family is all that we have and we can never get them back.

When I was little, you and Mom got divorced. I really don’t remember that too much. I just remember you having to leave at the end of each weekend. We were really close as I was growing up. I looked up to you so much and just enjoyed being around you. Looking back now I realize the sacrifices you made to visit me as often as you did. You were a good father and I love you very much for always believing in me and supporting me.

I remember when you would come in town we would always have to work on something like cleaning the house or mowing the lawn before we could go out and do ‘something special’ that you called it, which usually meant going out to eat. I now appreciate the fact that you wanted to instill in David and I a strong work ethic, which is something that I did pick up, and either good or bad, I believe that I work more and harder than most people I know.

My childhood love that we both shared together was baseball. As I got a little older, every time you came in town, we would go to the ball field and practice all day long. I loved it so much. I even loved the smell of the ball field and just being there made me feel happy.

Playing catch together was special. I remember you having your childhood baseball glove, which was an old Ted Williams model. You probably had it re-stitched and repaired over a dozen times but it was your glove and you always used it.

I remember one time it started to rain while you were hitting me ground balls at 3rd base. Neither of us wanted to stop because of the rain so we just kept going. We didn’t need to say anything. Each of us new that it was more important to keep going and not let the rain stop us. We had a special connection. We had a chemistry of love and respect for each other. Little moments like that, I’ve never spoken of before. They never seemed too important but now I know they were the most important.

You were so good about making my games too. I know it was hard with you living across the state but I really admire thinking back how much effort you made to see me play. You were always thinking about me and every time you came in town, I remember you always having a brown grocery bag full of articles and baseball tips for me. Anything that you thought could help me you would do. From purchasing a pitching machine, to catcher’s gear, you were there to support me and looking back now, those memories are very special. I remember you saying to me once that you enjoyed watching me play so much because it was like you were getting to relive your childhood dreams of playing baseball through me. Dad, I’m so grateful for these memories I have with you around the baseball field and I will never forget them. Thank you.

The older I got the more we became friends and less of a father/son relationship. We would joke around a lot and I remember you always laughing so hard that you would cry. You would always get this funny look on your face and I knew you could barely breathe from laughing so hard. The funny thing is now, when I laugh really hard, I cry too and make the same face!

To this day, David and I joke about the many funny sayings you always had. We joke about them but we both know that they make up who were and looking back now we appreciate them even more because they were yours.

There were many things you supported me on. The first time I ever drove a car was in your white Geo Prism. I remember that day so clearly. It was a Sunday and we found some back dirt roads down in Mims, FL where you let me drive. Wow, I remember the awesome feeling I had learning how to drive a stick shift, which is why I wanted a stick shift for my first car.

I remember the day you bought my first truck. You negotiated with those guys for hours. We walked out on them as if we were going to leave at least twice I think. I remember admiring how you stood your ground and finally got the deal you wanted. You taught me that it’s ok to be assertive and ask for what you want. The worst they can do is say no. You also were always careful not to just give anything to me, and we worked out a deal where I paid back the loan for the truck. When I wanted to buy a house, you suggested that we do it together as an investment. We signed a contract together for our partnership. You always showed respect for me as a person and I always tried to give you respect back which I believe is why we got along as well as we did.

There were many hard times that you experienced in your life but I admire how you always trusted in God and would practice your faith by forgiving others. You were always really good about listening even when we were in a disagreement. You taught me to always show empathy for the other person and make sure they felt heard before you try to tell your side of the story.

I do regret to say that over the last couple years, we had difficult times in our relationship. There was never anything we could not overcome though and you were good about reaching out to me to talk. The last email you sent me was on December 27th at 10:35am, saying we need to talk more and asking to set up a phone call. I responded back one hour later saying, how about tonight at 7pm? I never heard back from you but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I just figured we’d catch up soon. However, I learned not too long later that it was the last time you were going to contact me.

There are things that you taught me that I want to make sure others know about. You taught me about living for something greater than myself and I believe these individual pieces of wisdom help to define the character of the man you were.

– Being a person of integrity – you always said to me that as a CEO or major league baseball player, the most important thing that you hope people admire me for is being a person of integrity, above anything else. I remember one morning we were sitting in church together and you slipped me a note with this message. You also would remind me often when we would talk. What I always loved about this was that you just knew that I was going to achieve something great and be a person of influence. You truly believed in me. So the question in your mind was once I became a person of influence, you wanted to make sure that I was going to be a person of strong character and to treat others with respect and always be a person of strong integrity and do what is right even if it’s not popular. Dad, I remember this so clearly and I promise to you, that I will always strive to be that person of great integrity that you would have wanted.

– Appreciation for wisdom – every year on my birthday you would always ask, so John, how are you more wise now that you are a year older. Ha, I always knew that this question was coming and to be honest I never really new what to say. I guess this was one way you would get to us having a more meaningful conversation together. The day I graduated from college at the University of North Florida on April 30th 2005, you gave me a book called, Power. You wrote in the cover a note to me as follows.

“Happy Graduation Day, Son! May your life be filled with Power. Remember, John, power used for altruistic purposes makes power grow. But, power used for selfish reasons, makes power destroy you! Love Dad.”

– ‘Deep talks’ – you always enjoyed getting into a deep conversation with me to talk about feelings you or I had about something of meaning, even if it was a difficult subject. You weren’t interested in a superficial discussion. I remember you wanting to talk about something that was real, which usually meant some type of deep feelings we had about a particular topic. I now appreciate that you were a deep thinker and wanted to listen and learn from others at this more thoughtful level. Maybe it was because you were a psychologist by profession or maybe it was because you respected the ability to share honest feelings because of the trust you have with someone in order to do that. I admire this this about you Dad and I too enjoy having deeper discussions.

– Trusting your intuition – I remember you telling me to always listen to your own intuition and that it can be very powerful. There were several times when I did not understand that about you but I do know that you believed in it and you felt that it was an important for guiding you in some life situations. I don’t know exactly what it was, but you certainly felt some type of feeling to move towards a direction, which you believed to be your intuition. I remember you also sharing with me once that you felt like you missed your calling for a profession in the stock market because of how you were able to use your intuition about picking stocks. I don’t know what all to make of that but I do know you did very well as an investor. Dad, I promise to try to always keep an open mind and listen to my intuition as it’s telling me something or giving me a direction.

– Promoting peace and justice – this was a philosophy that I believe you inherited from Peter, your Dad and my Grandfather. You were never as outspoken as he was but you absolutely believed in the fundamental principals of world peace, loving your neighbor, and equal justice for all people. I respect these attributes of who you were and promise to carry on these beliefs in my life to help other people.

Dad, I miss you so much and I’m so sorry I did not have the chance to say goodbye to you. If I had the chance, I would have told you that I love you and that I will carry on the ideas that you would have wanted and to be a person that you are proud of and will treat others with respect like you would have wanted. You have taught me many things in my life, from having a strong work ethic, to the value of a dollar and being frugal, to always being a person of strong integrity. I’m grateful for the memories that I have because of how you loved me and showed me how much you cared for me as your son and friend.

dad

I promise you that I will be that person of strong integrity, I will always work hard, I’ll seek to have more deep talks with those that I care about, I will pursue peace in my community and in the world, and most of all I will love and respect my children in ways that I know you would be proud.

I love you Dad. I’ll never forget everything you’ve taught me and I promise, you will live forever in my heart and my own family will know and respect the good and loving person you were to me and our family.

I love you,

Your son, John

Why I Vote Republican

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With the election so close and politics on everyone’s mind, I wanted to share my personal story about how I started voting Republican. I absolutely respect differences of opinion and I encourage everyone to think about why they vote the way they do.

My story starts in a college economics class. The professor wrote on the board his annual salary and tax rate. He then wrote the additional salary he would make if he taught classes over the summer and the new tax rate he would then be in based on the additional income he earned.

The result was that due to earning more income and being bumped up into a higher tax rate, he would actually lose money if he worked more over the summer. Now this made no sense to me! If he worked more, then he would make less? But it was true and therefore he did not teach classes over the summer, i.e. worked less so he could remain at the lower tax rate.

This really struck me. Why would we as a country have a system in place that punishes someone if they work harder/more? It should be the opposite I thought, where people should be encouraged to work harder.

As an entrepreneur, I work countless hours, take huge risks, and make lots of personal sacrifices. If it works out that I am successful (which the odds are strongly against any entrepreneur), how much should be taken away from me in taxes?  I think this is a fair debate but I sure don’t want to be punished for working hard and being successful.

I can sum up the difference between Republicans and Democrats in a very simple way. Democrats typically favor policies of distributing wealth. Republicans traditionally favor policies of generating wealth. Both side have good intentions along with flaws but I’d rather be on the side of generating wealth because if you don’t have any wealth in the first place, then you don’t have anything to distribute.

The Casual Hypocrisy I See from my Democrat Friends

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I’ve found that most people are very entrenched about their political views so there is no reason to get into a circuitous argument. I’m writing this piece to hopefully generate some thought and reflection.

I have friends who say they support the values of Democrats. However, based on their actions, I see them supporting these values when applied to other people and not themselves.

Take the subject of taxes as an example. I have friends who support all these ideas of the government providing free this or that but when it’s time for them to pay their taxes, they look for any way possible to weasel out of paying their share. It all sounds great until they have to pay.

Another example is on healthcare. I know people that support Obamacare but never had to experience what it’s like to deal with it for themselves because they have other coverage. I personally lost my health insurance because it did not comply with Obamacare requirements and now I pay more than double what I used to pay for health insurance.

It amazes me to hear people speak so passionately about their views only to have a double standard when it applies to themselves. I don’t have an issue with someone just because they have a different opinion than me. I respect the fact that they care enough to have a strong stance if they believe it is best for our country. The issue I have is with people who talk a lot but then don’t back it up with their own actions.

Burn the Boats

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I’ve recently been reading a book called Think and Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill. The premise of the book is that you can achieve anything if you want something bad enough and set your mind to go out and get it.

In the book, there is a story about an ancient war general who leads his troops to the enemy’s land. His army was outnumbered by a more powerful enemy. Once he and his troops arrived, he instructed his troops to burn all the boats. Before the battle, the general addressed his troops and said, ‘ You see the boats going up in smoke? That means that we cannot leave these shores alive unless we win! We now have no choice. We win or we parish.’ They won.

I believe the idea of going all-in and not hoping to achieve something but rather making up your mind that you will achieve it, is the only way to truly be successful at what you do.

I find this to be true for me personally with my marriage and professionally running my own company.

Everything worth doing is hard and there are days when I question myself. I have to always remember that I will figure out a way to achieve my goal and take steps everyday towards making it happen.

Next time you find yourself questioning if you can make it, just remember…. burn the boats!

Everyone Needs Their Own ‘BC’

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It’s true. Everyone needs what one of my best friends, Ross Kirchman and I call, ‘BC’; short for Breakfast Club. IMG_1565

A few years ago we started meeting every Wednesday at 7am, before work at a nearby Starbucks. We would meet for an hour with the goal of keeping each other accountable to goals each of us would set to push ourselves beyond our current lifestyles.

By most measures, we were doing well. Each of us had good paying jobs with growth potential, we both had completed our MBA programs, and were having fun going out with our girlfriends.

However, each of us wanted something more. Neither of us wanted to be content or just settle for something short of what we felt like we could achieve.

So it started. Each week we would meet for an hour to discuss ways to push ourselves in different areas of our lives. We would discuss everything from advancing in our professional career, growing to be a stronger Christian, to ways we thought we could become a better leader.

The big point is that we did not just talk about ideas and then go off to work and feel good about ourselves. Each week we would commit to actions we would take to achieve specific goals and then we would hold each other accountable.

For example, one of my big topics was starting my new company at the time. I would commit to writing a business plan and doing research by a certain date and presenting it at BC, where Ross would provide feedback. We would share ideas and think about ways to take steps towards accomplishing our goals.  We had a mutual respect for one another and neither of us wanted to let the other down.

Ross lives in West Palm and I live in Atlanta now so we don’t meet each week at a Starbucks. Now, we talk on the phone every third Friday of the month at 7am. Last month we both presented our goals for this year. I know that each month, Ross will want to hear about the progress I’m making towards them and I will be doing the same for him.

Having someone there to keep you honest, share ideas, and encourage you helps, no matter what the circumstance or what you’re trying to achieve. It may be something different for everyone. For Ross and I, it’s BC and it’s something I plan on doing for the rest of my life.

What I Learned from a Group of 6th Graders

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Before my Grandpa passed away, he taught me two things. One, be a person of action and two, do things bigger than yourself. With this sprit in mind, I recently volunteered for Junior Achievement, located in the Chick-fil-A Foundation Discovery Center at the Georgia World Congress Center in downtown Atlanta.

I was absolutely blown a way with the JA BizTown setup. The gist of it is students applying and getting jobs with Atlanta based companies and having to run a business successfully. Each student earns a paycheck which they use to buy their own lunch and go shopping. It’s basically a mini economy that comes to life for one day for each group of students. Students learn the basics about what it’s like to earn a paycheck, manage to a budget, and try to earn a profit.

There were a few eye-opening moments when the students realized that they had to buy their own lunch for the first time or when they saw taxes taken out of their own paycheck.

Here is a link to a short video that highlights the experience:

I was assigned a group of students who were going to work at RockTenn for the day. There were certain suggested products and services that we could sell but it was encouraged to be creative about how to attract other students to come to our store to spend their paychecks.

Cooleaf_at_RockTenn_Store with_JA

The big hit was not on the script at all. My group found a sliding door in the back of the store. They came up with a plan to charge other students to be able to see what was in the ‘secret room’. They then hid in the room and would jump out to scare students who paid to see the room. The results were that kids would yell out a scream that generated a bunch of buzz and curiosity from other students to see what was in the ‘secret room’. Before too long, we had a line of students waiting to get their turn to see the room and what all the commotion was about.

I would have never thought to come up with this plan but it worked. It made me realize that my group of 6th graders were easily able to come up with this plan because well, they think like other 6th graders.

So often I find myself sending an e-mail or having a conversation with a prospect without really putting myself in their shoes and understanding their specific interest or problem. Moving forward, I’m going to take the time to ask myself with each prospect, why they should take the time to speak with me and why should they care what I have to say. I will try to better understand my prospects and try to think like them.

This simple lesson stuck with me and I owe it to a group of 6th graders who brought to light something so simple but so powerful at the same time; the importance to think like your customers!

The One Thing That Matters Most When Growing a Company

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There are so many lessons that I’ve learned about what really matters and what to focus on when growing a company but I’ve realized that for me, above everything else, it’s having my wife by my side. Starting and growing a company is like riding a roller coaster with many ups and downs. It’s been really important for me to have my now wife (as I recently got married), to be there with me during the hard times to help pick me up and also there with me to celebrate the good times.

Here are a few practical reasons that being in a relationship with someone you really care about can help you grow your company.

  • Focus – let’s face it, when you’re single there are more temptations. You end up going out more and drinking/parting more which can be a big distraction. I’m not saying that an entrepreneur should not have fun but there is a difference between having a good time and letting the good times have you.
  • Drive – when you have to provide for others such as your spouse, it creates a tremendous spark under you to be successful because you know that others are counting on you for their future. This is a big responsibility and one that can’t be taken lightly. I will do anything to protect my family and now that means doing anything and everything I can to grow my company because that is how I will fulfill the hopes and dreams that my wife and I have for growing our own family.
  • Purpose – I believe that doing something of meaning that is beyond yourself, gives you a sense of purpose. This may be what your company stands for in terms of your mission and vision. But beyond the company, I believe there is no greater feeling than knowing that the work that you are doing gives you the ability to make someone you care for happy. In return, they will give you the confidence that you need to carry through the inevitable hard times that comes with starting a company.

Without a doubt, I’m in the camp of having a strong teammate on your side that knows how much you care about your work. It’s important to establish the expectations that your work is a major part of your life and will require sacrifices in terms of your time and money. If you find someone willing to take that journey with you, I believe that the best thing you can do is everything in your power to take care of them and make them happy.

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Two Rules I Live By

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There has been one person in my life that has influenced me more than anyone else and that is my Grandpa, Peter Duisberg. My grandpa passed away this summer.  We had a small funeral at that time and just recently had a public memorial service.

My Grandpa was a very driven man. His life mission was to promote world peace. I know it sounds like such as lofty mission that one might not take it seriously but, he worked tirelessly at it. There was a Peter Duisberg Peace Award given out every year at the world peace day event held on New Year’s Day. He was very involved politically, in the media, and with leaders from other countries.

I always respected my Grandpa because he was a man of action. There are a lot of people that talk about doing great things but there are few that actually carry out their words. I learned this in the startup community as well. I’ve found that there is a lot of talk and it has made me really respect the entrepreneurs who quietly are able to execute. I already know all too well how incredibly difficult it is to do.

Another thing that my Grandpa taught me was that the world was bigger than myself. He always encouraged me to keep learning, to keep growing in all areas of my life including professionally, in education, and personally. He valued the idea of broadening your experiences. He believed that we can learn a lot from a better understanding of other people, cultures, and through diversity.

Two things that I will always remember from him that influence how I approach my life and how it relates to running my company:

  • Be a person of action. Take all the ideas and conversations and start working on them to accomplish something. Whether what you accomplish is small or big, it’s important to put yourself out there and put your ideas into action.
  • Do things that are bigger than yourself.There is so much more than our own little world and what we think is so important and such a big deal. Living beyond yourself pushes you to grow, through new experiences and gives you a greater sense of purpose and mission in life.

Here is a picture of my Grandpa in the middle with my Dad and me.

Me, my Grandpa, and Dad